• Gayle

Making a beeline back to Bumble

After that last post, I decide to make a beeline back to Bumble. Apparently, there are a lot of women who have no hesitations when it comes to making the first move:

There were 530 million first moves made — yes, 530 *million* — as in, if your first moves populated a country, it’d be somewhere between USA and India. You laughed til you cried a whole lot! At least, often enough to make 😂 the most popular emoji in Bumble bios — along with, naturally, ❤️.

It's set to Bumble Dating, rather than BBFs, and I am shown my first guy: a 62 year old Used Lexus dealer who's wearing shades. The glasses set off a red flag. Is he real or is he Memorex (read: bot, or if not a bot, a scammed photo, used for catfishing by Russian and Nigerian up-to-no-good networks)? When I click the downward arrow to learn more him, there's the usual basic profile stuff.


(which on my non-touch desktop computer, you click the "X" to pass rather than swipe left).

The next person is better, in that he's written more "about" stuff. But Imma passing on him too. He is a conservative (and while this doesn't necessarily mean Trump lover, he probably is a Republican, which in this day and age, amounts to the same thing). His "about" talks about how hard it is to talk about oneself. Which means he could be shy, but really doesn't tell you a thing.


After clicking on the third guy, I decide that I need to fill out the profile.

So I write this:

Big time nature & animal lover (duh, right?). Others say imma: Quirky, Thoughtful, Passionate. An extraverted-introvert who loves deep conversations over great coffee & meals. Pillow talk is nice 2. Looking for a youthful, active man who treats others well & isn't afraid of showing his softer side.

I put a lot of thought into completing the profile section. Even the profile prompts. And even if the reality is that people will only swipe right (or click the check mark) based on your looks. And age. Maybe location.

I need more photos. The only ones I take are selfies. Usually at work. Sitting at my desk. Except for the occasional different hairstyle, I look pretty much the same in every single one. So it would be boring to post more of the same.

I have only one photo of me in another setting and that's me with a cousin that was taken by our waitress. But even that one is basically a selfie.

It's not that I don't go out. But truth be told, my social life has mostly been "flying solo" having had a husband or partners who weren't into the types of social outings I tend to do: Farmers markets, author lectures, workshops, art shows, boutique shopping, and the occasional play or opera (okay, it's been a very, very long time since I did that). Nor do I mind eating by myself or taking myself to a movie. As a general rule, I don't do group outings or girls night out, if you don't count "Meet-Ups" or business networking.

And no, it would never occur to me to ask someone to take a photo for my Instagram.

Bottom line is that my introverted side wins out when it comes to the stuff I most enjoy. Nature walks, feeding the birds, playing with my dogs, reading, cooking, gardening. Once upon a time, I enjoyed hosting parties (though truth be told, that hasn't happened since college).

On Bumble, I put "I don't know yet" as my response to that "what do you want" question. I do, though. It's someone to enjoy life with. A guy who I can confide in. Someone who actually listens. And has a mind capable of deep conversation as well as flirty pillow talk. Someone who will appreciate it when I get "all dolled up." Who thinks I'm attractive--inside and out. Who understands that I have my good days (when I look good, feel good, and who makes conversations with strangers) and the not-so-good ones (when I don't look or act so youthful and rather stay in and hibernate). A serious relationship, in the future at least. For now I would settle for casual dating and finding the leisure time variant of a "work husband."

All which I would have added to my Bumble profile if you weren't limited to 300 characters. [commas, ellipses, and spaces included].


Follow me

© 2020 by a well-seasoned woman.
Proudly created with



  • Facebook Clean
  • Twitter Clean
  • White Google+ Icon