• Gayle

Signing Up on Online Dating Sites

So far, I have created profiles on three online dating sites: Bumble, OkCupid, and Plenty of Fish (PoF).

I joined Bumble first, stepping a toe in the waters by finding sister friends or BBFs rather than for dates. Two things appealed to me about Bumble. First, that you could use the site to find BBFs.

I met a lot of wonderful women when I joined OkCupid the first time around when it was as much of a social networking site as for dating. Now, you probably can technically use the site for social networking ("new friends" is still an option) but that seems less fun and easy now that they jettisoned both journaling/blogging option and "community front page" which featured members latest blogs as a way to get to know folks.

But Bumble works more like Tinder. You're presented with one photo that swipe right to like. There might be a line or two about the person--likes and interests--along with where they are located. And honestly, I didn't even notice the text until I had swiped through a dozen or so people ("likes" for maybe three of them). I didn't hear from any of them, so I guess I wasn't to their liking. Maybe because I didn't have write even a 1-liner about (because I didn't see that from the start.

The other reason I joined Bumble was because women are in control of making the first move. One of my most successful dating periods in my 20's was when I decided to ask guys out rather than wait around to be asked.

Girl Power, right? Only I didn't do a thing. Sure in a large measure, it's because I've gotten used to men making the first move. The woman who writes the P.S. I Love You column on Medium ditched Bumble for this very reason. She wrote " Having to initiate 100% of the time has taken its toll on me." So she wants Bumble to at least give men the option of swiping right first.

When I read her reasoning, however, I feel it boils down to the same reason girl power be damned, I didn't pull the trigger. And that's#1 fear of rejection. Oh and it's damn hard to write a good intro--friendly with some wit for good measure, and not too long, as apparently that is a turn-off.

Only my responses haven't been hitting the mark either. More on that in posts down the line.


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